We’ve been on both sides. When Beth was little, we barely took any time for ourselves or for our marriage. It felt like taking even a short break was simply impossible. And as a result, we experienced mental health decline, spiritual disconnection, and our marriage unraveled.
But then we learned that we had to find a way to make it possible. We committed to doing whatever it would take to care of ourselves and get away together. And these times to ourselves and as a couple have made all the difference for our family.
Even if you’re not experiencing as dire circumstances as we have or you don’t feel like you even need a break, respite care can always have benefits. We hope these reasons respite breaks are critical and ways we’ve learned to make it possible encourage you as you plan your next time away.
5 Reasons Respite Breaks are Critical
The list is long, but we are only going mention our top 5 reasons why caregivers have to find a way to take breaks. These reasons are based on professional research, our story, and Kristin’s clinical experience.
Taking breaks from caring for your child can:
1. Improve your child’s and family’s wellbeing
When we, as parents, are healthier physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, we are able to take better care of our children.
Even if we feel like we don’t need a break, respite can lower our stress levels.
2. Protect your physical and mental health
As disability or medical parents, we’re at higher risk for developing long-term physical and mental health conditions. Simple stress-reduction exercises, brief activities, and going for our own appointments can make a significant difference in our health.
3. Strengthen your relationships
As caregivers, we can often feel isolated. But we can’t nurture our relationships with our spouse, family, or friends unless we spend time with them.
4. Deepen your faith
Being unable to attend worship, a small group Bible study, or even carve out time for prayer can create distance between us and God and weaken our resilience. When taking our child to a church program isn’t an option, then it’s critical we find someone to stay with them at home.
5. Help you enjoy life more
Stepping back for just short periods of time gives us new perspective. A mental and emotional break can create a space for us to do something we enjoy (or used to), dream about future goals, or try something new.
Steps to Planning Your Break
Download your Free Plan
Step 1: Describe the break you’d like to take
We recommend planning two different kinds of breaks–a short break (2-4 hours) then a longer break (1 day to overnight). Jot down how you would like your time away to look:
What would you like to do?
Where would you like to go?
Step 2: Work out the details
- Set a specific date and time
- Choose a location
- Decide if you want to go by yourself or with someone else
Then set a deadline to work on the specifics.
Step 3: Take concrete steps to make it happen
Even when it feels impossible and you don’t feel like you have the energy or finances to bring your need into reality, keep working to find a way to make it happen.
1. Secure Caregiving
Let’s start with the most important and often the most difficult factor in being able to get a break. Below and in the free respite planner, there are numerous ideas and resources for how to find free or affordable care.
- If someone asks how they can help you, take them up on the offer and don’t be shy in directly telling them a specific way.
- Ask for ideas for resources on online groups or Facebook-these can be great sources of information
- Pray for God to provide a way and bring people into your life who can support you
2. Make Reservations
Set the specific details for where you will go. Try to do something new. In our next post we will give tips on how to wisely build credit card points to book free nights at hotels.
3. Make preparations:
- Order medications and medical supplies
- Create an important info sheet of doctors’ phone numbers
- Describe specific steps to take if your child becomes ill
- If possible, meet with the new caregiver to orient them to your child’s care
It may take time and lots of energy and planning, but in the long run, finding a way to take breaks can decrease your stress levels, help you enjoy life more, and improve your relationships and overall health.
Let us know if we can help you brainstorm ideas.
What’s a tip you have for other caregivers? Please share your ideas in the comments section below.
Blessings on your journey.
Todd and Kristin
Why Respite Breaks are Critical and How to Make it Happen Share on XResources
The National Respite Program Locator by State
Friendship Circle List of Camps
Learn tips for managing caregiving stress.
Todd Evans, MA, PhD & Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW
Todd and Kristin are celebrating twenty-one years of marriage and have two children with rare genetic disorders and complex needs. They’re passionate about empowering other parents of children with disabilities. They both earned their Masters in Christian Education at Wheaton College, co-receiving the Lois LeBar Award. They’ve served together in fulltime ministry in church, wilderness, adventure challenge, and retreat settings. Kristin is an award-winning author and a Licensed Masters Social Worker experienced in Christian, couples, child & family, and crisis counseling. They enjoy traveling and the outdoors together.
Disability Parenting