Romantic getaways and grand gestures are nice. But it’s actually the everyday moments and little acts of care throughout the busy week that will build trust, deepen intimacy, and add fun to your relationship. These 3 simple love acts take only minutes a day, but they will spark new passion between you and begin to improve your marriage.
1. Hide a treat for your spouse
How fun to discover that your spouse has been thinking about you and took the time to let you know they love you! These little treats can give your marriage a big boost.
Saying, “Thank you or I appreciate you,” in new and fun ways can set off a positive chain reaction of building deeper affection for each other. Expressing gratitude to one another can strengthen your connection, lower your stress levels, foster forgiveness, and enrich your sexual intimacy
Brainstorm unique ways you can make your spouse smile. Maybe leave them a little note, send a text, give an extra hug and say thank you, or hide their favorite treat for them to find.
2. Use these 4 phrases
Everyone wants to feel heard, especially by their spouse. But the daily stress and busyness can get in the way of remembering to pause and mindfully listen to one another.
It can take practice, but setting the goal of intentionally listening to your spouse and validating their emotions will quickly deepen your connection. But it doesn’t have to be hard or take a lot of time.
Use these simple phrases every day and take 5 minutes to focus on one another and watch your love for one another grow.
1. “Tell me about your day.”
2. “How are you feeling right now?”
3. “I hear you saying ________(repeat back what they said)______.”
4. “Tell me about something good that happened today.”
Download our FREE Tip Sheets for strengthening your marriage.
3. Kiss for 6 seconds
We’ve saved the best for last. Marriage expert Dr. John Gottman has found through his extensive research that one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your relationship is to kiss for 6 seconds every day.[i] Sex experts Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner even recommend kissing passionately for at least 30 seconds every day![ii]
We challenge you to kiss your spouse for at least 6 seconds every day for a week and see what happens!
Which love act are you going to try today?
Are you going to surprise your spouse with a treat, take 5 minutes to mindfully listen to them, or accept the challenge to kiss for 6 seconds every day for week?
Have fun!
Notes
[i] The Six Second Kiss, Kari Rusnak, The Gottman Institute, July 1, 2021, https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-six-second-kiss/.
[ii] Clifford Penner and Joyce Penner, The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2003), 28-9.
Dr. Todd and Kristin Evans are celebrating 24 years of marriage. They are award-winning authors, national speakers, and special needs parents. Their multi award-winning book, How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities has been by Exceptional Needs Today, Christianity Today, and Today’s Christian Living. They both earned their MA in Christian Educational Ministries at Wheaton College in Illinois and have served together in full-time ministry in church, camping, and retreat settings. Todd received his PhD from Vanderbilt University’s School of Engineering and currently manages his own business, and Kristin earned her MSW from the University of Tennessee and is a licensed master social worker experienced in couples, child and family, substance abuse, and crisis counseling. They enjoy traveling and the outdoors together.
Disability Parenting
