I have a challenge for you today regardless of your life circumstances. For parents caring for a child with developmental, medical, or mental health special needs or disabilities: whether you’ve been attending a support group for years, participated some, or if you’ve never stepped foot into a group of other parents experiencing similar challenges, I’m asking you to take the next step today.
If you’re not a caregiver, I also have a challenge for you to consider after reading this post.
Today, I’m explaining just four of the ways support groups can greatly positively impact caregivers, especially moms, and why reaching out for this connection in community is critical. Read on to receive your challenge and decide if you will accept it.
1. Improve Your Mental Health
I wish I could have a do over. When my daughter first came home from the NICU at 3-months-old, I was a nervous wreck. I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder resulting from my nightmare pregnancy, emergency caesarean section, and watching my daughter go into respiratory arrest. I was also experiencing post-partum depression and severe social anxiety. Caring for my medically complex daughter terrified me. Her severe developmental disabilities and nonstop rehab therapies overwhelmed me. I felt like no one else in the world could understand what I was going through. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
But there were other parents going through similar experiences. Looking back, I can see that now. Several people had suggested that I join a support group. “Is there a group for Bethany Grace’s specific syndrome?” my therapist asked me. I knew that there was a Facebook group. But I couldn’t bring myself to check it out. Why? Because that would have made it real for me. I was denying my reality which only made me spiral more. Instead of reaching out, I isolated myself.
Connecting in a support group can improve your mental health and lower your stress levels.
Research has shown that participating in a support group can help improve your mental health. Social connection and support have been found to be one of the most critical variables in lowering levels of stress, anxiety, and depression (Caruso, 2017). If I had joined a group, even an online group during those early critical months and years, I believe that my mental health would not have declined to the extreme that it did. Read more about my mental health story and about mental health and special needs moms.
2. Feel Validated
Feeling like no one else could understand what I was going through didn’t help the difficult and shameful emotions that I was experiencing. I’ll never forget years later when we attended the Cri du Chat (5p-) conference for our daughter’s syndrome. Speakers admitted thinking and feeling the same things that I had been experiencing for years. They normalized my thoughts and feelings. My shame and guilt faded.
In a support group, you can feel validated by other parents who get it.
Other caregivers in your support group may not be able to directly relate, but they will be able to empathize, knowing how hard it is to have a child with any special needs. They will validate and support you. You may have a child with Autism or other developmental and mental health challenges, while other parents in the group have a child with medical complexities. Every parent has their own unique experience and story. But there’s something about feeling a connection with other parents despite the differences in their children’s needs and life challenges. It’s healing.
4 Ways Support Groups Help Special Needs Parents Share on X3. Learn Tips and Resources
I struggled to know how to care for and change Bethany Grace’s G-tube, administer countless medications, and manage all the in-home rehab therapies and medical specialties; Not to mention advocating with insurance and coordinating with doctors. Years later, I discovered two amazing Facebook support groups for moms caring for their children’s feeding tubes. If only I had joined that group, I could have asked about how to change the tube or care for it, and within an hour, I would have had numerous comments from experienced moms.
You can learn valuable tips and resources in support groups.
Groups also recommend providers or therapists, give other tips and resources, and help solve problems. I still see posts with ideas that after twelve years, I’ve never discovered. I’ve been amazed about how much I’ve learned and how many opportunities I’ve discovered in groups. Groups often have speakers about different topics including how to navigate the school system and plan financially.
4. Process Your Faith and Spiritual Questions
Watching my daughter and family suffer began to form cracks in my life-long faith. How could God possibly be good and allow this to happen? Not just that, Bethany Grace was my second child with a rare genetic disorder (a different one). Why wouldn’t God just give me a typical, healthy child?
When I finally began to attend a support group at a local church, I learned that other parents had experienced similar doubts and struggles. I was able to begin processing my questions and even my anger at God. My faith strengthened, and I learned to rely on God for every area of my life, especially in taking care of my children.
Members of support groups can help you process your faith struggles and heal spiritually.
Research has shown that caregivers that find strength in their faith are more resilient and experience milder mental health symptoms. One research study concluded that religious and spiritual struggles are “robust predictors of poor mental and physical health outcomes” (Grubbs, et al., 2016). Research has shown that when people who are experiencing significant stress turn to their faith to cope that they experience more positive psychological outcomes. (Ano & Vasconcelle, 2005).
My Challenge to You
- If you have never considered finding a support group or are on the fence–I challenge you to seek out a group and visit it. You may very well be glad you did.
- If you have attended a group before but aren’t now–I challenge you to go back or find a new group to join.
- If you’re well connected in a support group and special needs community, I challenge you to reach out to other parents. Share this post, call them, invite them to your group.
- If you’re not a caregiver or special needs parent, I challenge you to share this post with at least one special needs caregiver.
How have support groups helped you?
Leave your comments for other parents below.
Blessings,
Kristin
Read more about the importance of connecting with others.
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Resources for Finding a Group
Here are some resources for finding a support group. If you’re unable to find one in your area, message me, and I will help you find one.
Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW
Kristin is an author, a speaker, a mental health therapist, and a special needs mom. Her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper faith and emotional healing. As a Licensed Masters Social Worker and with her Masters in Christian Education, she has served in youth, camping, and retreat ministries and is experienced in Christian counseling, couples and family therapy, substance abuse treatment, and crisis counseling. Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. When she is not enjoying life with her family, writing or working with clients, you can find Kristin training for triathlons, reading, or simply being out in nature. Visit her author website at www.KristinFaithEvans.com.
References:
Ano, G. G., & Vasconcelle, E. B. (2005). Religious Coping and Psychological Adjustment to Stress: A Meta-Analysis. JOURNAL OF CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY, 61(4), 461-480.
Grubbs, J. B., Wilt, J., Stauner, Nicholas, Exline, J. J., & Pargament, K. I. (2016). Self, struggle, and soul: Linking personality, self-concept, and religious/spiritual struggle. Personality and Individual Differences, 101, 144-152.
May, G. G. (2004). The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth. New York: Harper One.
Caruso, Jill M. “Stress, Anxiety, and Depression Experienced by Parents of Children with Special Needs and Self-Care Techniques.” ProQuest Dissertations Publishing, 2017.
Disability Parenting
Keep up the good work and positive messages!